How to steal someones girlfriend

Added: Donesha Kestner - Date: 17.09.2021 21:58 - Views: 29632 - Clicks: 3671

How can I steal someone else's girlfriend? I'm giving a speech tomorrow on how to steal girlfriends. Unfortunately, I have no experience with this. Please suggest techniques or things to watch out for. I'm already aware of girlfriendstealer. Find out what the boyfriend lacks in the eyes of the girlfriend. Exploit his flaw by being the exact opposite of whatever it is she dislikes about him. Fill her void. This is a silly question. Show up at a place where you know she will be with her current BF. Be cooler than him. Break up loudly with a fake GF.

Brood alone at a table. Make eye contact quickly with her and produce an embarassed smile before quickly looking away. Step three: Profit. You can go for the live forcible kidnap, the lure, or the drug-n-drag. They've all got plusses and minuses; a lot depends on your physical strength and skill with pharmaceuticals. Whatever you do, have plenty of duct tape on hand.

Try to avoid areas with lots of people or surveillance cameras. Disclaimer: I do not condone the above method. I don't even go for girls. Become her "guy friend" that her boyfriend hates. He should definitely distrust you and resent the time she spends with you.

This is vital, as it sets you up as someone she sees as his "rival" and increases the likelihood that you can reach step 2. Wait for a rough patch in their relationship preferably over an issue that you are somehow involved in and take her to her preferred bar, nightclub, music venue, or Bible study last option may prove less effective.

Apply alcohol. Make small, romantic move. A brief kiss that lingers is good. Watch relationship fall apart, pick up shattered pieces. Or tel her you have a huge wang. The trick here of course is staying away from the Friend Zone. I didn't steal my girlfriend who ended up being my wife a few years later , but Benjy describes pretty precisely all the steps that happened quickly except for 3 and boasting of the large wang.

There are three primary ways which you can try. Each is fraught with its own danger. CONS: King Menelaus gets really pissed off at you, city gets invaded, former lover refuses to heal you, you die, brother gets killed. OK, what you need to do is look at the chick you're trying to date. Pour poison into her husband's ear. He's dead! Now you can move in and take the throne of Denmark. PROS: You get to watch a reenactment! CONS: Everybody dies at the end. Including you. Who thought her son would be so emo? In the meantime, you court his wife.

PROS: You get a comparatively long period of time with your new hottie. I think there is a thread about this in the tuckermax. I refer to my post. You can only steal a girl who wants to be stolen unless you go for longsleeve's approach of course. We do have minds of our own after all. People are giving you ways of hopefully making her want to be stolen but they're not going to work for many girlfriends. If she has a secure happy relationship she's not gonna care how great you supposedly are and your machinations just aren't gonna work.

Being in a committed relationship means deciding to stop looking for something better and focus on and enjoy what's already there. So my first tip would be to find someone waiting to be stolen. A girl keeping an eye out for something better, a relationship that allows drama to intervene, a girl that's less than secure with her man or possibly with low self esteem.

Generally a relationship that's probably doomed anyway. Then you've got a chance and all this other stuff may register. Shit, that parenthesis should have been referring to thirteenkiller's comment, not longsleeves'. Benjyy is on the right track, but he leaves out a few vitals: Once you have waited for the "rough spot" and gotten your quarry off alone somewhere, be sure to be an extra good listener. Empathize and commiserate. Relate to her a situation where you've had similar feelings, so that she knows you understand her on a deeper level. Be sure to paint her current beau in less than flattering terms while making yourself look more attractive and highlighting anything you can think of that shows mutual interests.

You can always just make shit up. Truth matters not here. Isn't it grand that you've both always dreamed of climbing Machu Picchu? Just be sure to look up exactly where that is before your next conversation with her. To get extra points, and showcase just how erudite you are, why not go that extra step and look up some history and interesting trivia about it, too? Mention it later, casually, as though it were common knowledge that any well-heeled individual should know.

What, her loser paramour doesn't know such things? Once all of your prior insidious machinations are taking effect, her relationship is in shambles, and you are her "confidant," then it's time to step things up a bit. Make it plain to her just how long you have secretly basked in her glow from afar, not daring to encroach on her relationship out of respect for both her and her soon-to-be-ex man.

But that's just testament to the strength of your feeling is it not? True love is patient, is it not? Music is also good to get inside her heart, head, and underpants! And let's be completely honest here, that's really all you want, isn't it? Make her CD's, tapes, or simply lists of songs that remind you of her. Tell her that hearing any of them completely brightens your day. Bonus points if you include in this list a few songs that her boyfriend likes and listens to regularly.

She's bound to hear them when out with him then, and it will make her think of you instead -- remember, this is war! There are several other things you can add in, but you get the idea Option 1. Beat the dude up in front of his girlfriend bonus points if you say it was for treating her badly; but badass points if you say it was cuz you felt like it. Given your listed occupation of "dork", I assume this will be hilarious. Option 2. More in keeping with the "dork" thing, and assuming you're in college, how about this. Enlist a hot female friend to leave a Facebook wall post for Dude.

Or hack her to do same. Make sure it's hot, steamy and mysterious, and mentions the great time they had together. Then make sure Dude's girlfriend sees it and you're there to comfort her. I promise I have not done this. Benjy has it. I say: don't. Because if you succeed and it doesn't work out, she idealizes the relationship you ruined and never speaks to you again. If you fail, you look like the jackass of the universe.

Either way, you're basically ing yourself up for some shit karma and possibly a ferocious maiming. Remain pals and live your own life, if she decides she digs you, it will be because you're an interesting person who does not feel inclined to shadily attempt cleaving her relationships in half. You could make an indecent proposal. Place your penis in her vagina. After that, it's pretty much all downhill for her relationship with her boyfriend.

Repeat as neessary. Stealing a human being someone else owns is a capital offense in several states, particularly if the person is stolen to be "converted to one's own use. State v Hawkins, 8 Porter Moreover, the statue of limitations that would otherwise apply to theft of property of comparable value is not valid in these cases. Prince v State, 3 Stewart and Porter All in all, if you can get the owner to voluntarily relinquish the girlfriend, that would probably be your best bet.

Since her utility to her owner is sexual, perhaps if you made her less attractive to him, he would agree to sell her to you, or even set her free. Acid or raz or damage to the face are popular methods -- though, of course, they may diminish her utility to you.

Good luck! First, you become her confident, being "there for" her when her boyfriend isn't. Next, tell her that you'll kill her boyfriend if she doesn't break up with him. Lastly, gloat to her boyfriend about how you "fulfill her needs" when he doesn't. Be the Fonz. Fitzgerald Sjoberg at PM on May 16, [ 2 favorites ]. Benjy's pretty good. FYI, though I've failed to pull it off before. I guess the big point is your personal style, because this depends a lot on your personality and the personality of whoever you're going for.

You have to have the confidence to project the knowledge of her love for you on to her, and it takes a lot of consistency and patience to pull off. One misstep and the illusion dissipates like so much smoke. If you've got more of a fight club attitude, go for the "beat him up and make him cry like a nancy-boy" thing. Read up on the " sexy-son hypothesis " that offers up a biological explanation to why women cheat on their spouses and fall for the "bad boys" that would otherwise make for terrible partners.

The indirect approach wins! Buy him a Zune. Use an iPod. Klangklangston, isn't this just a dupe of ageispolis's suggestion 3. Fill her void? Go for the easy kill and target a woman whose boyfriend just went off to college in another town or got transferred to an office hours and hours away.

How to steal someones girlfriend

email: [email protected] - phone:(549) 681-2021 x 3315

How to steal someone's girlfriend?